He looks intimidating
I own my weaknesses as well as my successes, since they’re all part of who I am, but while some men feel my confidence and openness make me approachable, and even inspirational, a great number of men tell me that I’m ... One guy even went so far as to advise me on how to tone down my confidence so that men might find me more desirable in the future.
When I look at it from the man’s point of view, I understand how hard it is to put yourself out there.
I’ve never tried to teach this before because I didn’t really know to teach it...
at least for me personally, it’s something I’ve always had (from the day I was born, according to the stories).
So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating.
After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website.
When women feel criticized, we inherently look within to see if there is any truth to the harsh judgment, we can’t help it. The hot guy who thought you’d be impressed by his dedication to a job he hates and his lackluster (contractual) involvement with the kids who live with his ex-wife is bound to feel intimidated by the woman who has made the best of her new beginning, is willing to put herself out there in service to others, and does it all with a smile on her face and happiness in her heart.
As such, women often instantly assume that because a man said it, that comment must be true. What can a guy like that offer to the woman who is already taking pretty good care of herself? So, don't internalize "you're intimidating." Sure, absolutely self-reflect.
This is one of those things that can be extremely effective wielded properly – it can shoot through the roof, make you physically intimidating even to men twice your size, and communicate “I mean business” to anyone and everyone like nothing else really can (although it can also send you directly to creepy guy land if you aren’t careful how you deploy it).
Now just uplevel that notion to add "every day achiever" who is ALSO genuinely "happy with where he’s at." Because those men out there.
Or, maybe you realize you really do want someone who sees something greater in himself and is willing to do the scary work it takes to rise into that. Either way, you’re honing in on what works for you.
As author Marianne Williamson says, "Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you."So, stay true to your greatness and wish guys like this all the best on their journey as they grow into their own greatness.