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Plaintiff, during many of his alleged injury incidents as mentioned in his petition was also contributorily negligent and his negligence far exceeded any negligence on the part of Acme Company.
Furthermore, we will show by a preponderance of the evidence that plaintiff Coyote is a malingerer and a fraud and at no time has he ever sustained any permanent injury whatsoever. We will view videotaped footage wherein the Coyote after suffering seemingly horrendous, grotesque, debilitating and life threatening injuries, is seen no more than 30 seconds later totally uninjured and unscathed. Coyote examined by an independent medical doctor, one Dr. Brandon Quackmeister, who will testify that none of the plaintiff's claimed injuries are permanent.
Perhaps, he could have purchased the ACME HAVE-A-HEART-LIVE-TRAP MODEL T-001-216 which sells for a mere .95.
Instead, he recklessly disobeyed clear warnings to his own detriment.
Attached is the defendant's Opening Statement in the above-referenced matter. B19293 Acme Company, ) Defendant ) -------- Opening Statement of Nicholas J.
Please post to the Rubber Room, as default judgment against defendant would be an injustice. ===================================================== In the United States District Court Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona The Honorable Homer Simpson, Presiding Wile E. Mc Slick of Fairweather, Winters, and Summers, Attorney for Acme Company: The plaintiff, Coyote, has filed a lawsuit against, my client, the Acme Company sounding in tort for products liability alleging that Acme Co., was negligent, reckless, and placed products into the stream of commerce through its mail order catalogues.
Coyote also alleges strict products liability, breach of warranty, breach of warranty of merchantability, and that the products were not fit for their intended use.
First of all, Coyote procured all the devices with a falsified Class B explosives license. Secondly, it was the plaintiff's habit or routine practice to haphazardly store the explosives in the open air--In Arizona, where the Court could take judicial notice of the fact that daytime temperatures exceed 100 F.
These explosives became volatile as warned and hence often exploding prematurely .
Furthermore, pursuit of his chosen prey with explosives was clearly excessive.
THE MANUFACTURER DISCLAIMS ALL CIVIL LIABILITY IN CONNECTION WITH IMPROPER, UNINTENDED OR ILLEGAL USE OF EXPLOSIVE DEVICES.
Also, in boldface, red type it states: FAILURE TO STORE "LITTLE GIANT" FIRECRACKER, SELF-GUIDED AERIAL BOMB AND OTHER EXPLOSIVES IN AN ADEQUATE MAGAZINE OR OTHER COOL, DRY AIR SPACE WILL RESULT IN THEIR DETERIORATION AND BREAKDOWN OF CHEMICAL PROPERTIES MAKING THEM EXTREMELY VOLATILE.