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Violence appears to be about as common among lesbian couples as among heterosexual couples (1,5).

In addition, the cycle of violence occurs in both types of relationships. In lesbian relationships, the "butch" (physically stronger, more masculine or wage-earning) member of the couple may be as likely to be the victim as the batterer, whereas in heterosexual relationships, the male partner (usually the stronger, more masculine, and wage-earning member) is most often the batterer (4).

Help her develop a safety plan concerning how she will get out if she needs to leave quickly, including having a bag prepared and easily accessible with essential documents (including identification, money, and anything else that might be needed), and arranging a place to stay in an emergency. Dont give up and dont criticize her or turn her away because she doesnt leave right away. Heer, Christine, Grogan, Eileen, Clark, Sandra, & Carson, Lynda M. Developing services for lesbians in abusive relationships: A macro and micro approach.

If you are in a city that has an Anti-Violence Project connected to the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs ( tell her about the services of your local AVP (9). Violence in lesbian and gay relationships: theory, prevalence, and correlational factors.

Many AVPs provide counseling, advocacy with the police and criminal justice system and support groups.

Some therapists specialize in lesbian partner abuse, as well (3).

In between work, family and social commitments it can be hard to find the time to meet someone.

Same-sex couples are always excluded from obtaining a protective order in seven states (Arizona, Delaware, Louisiana, Montana, New York, South Carolina, and Virginia) and often excluded in three states (Florida, Maryland, and Mississippi). Violence at the door: Treatment of lesbian batterers. Williams (Eds.), Partner violence: A comprehensive review of 20 years of research (pp. Great dating begins here - take a quick tour into the heart of how it all works and see how our members found love, because seeing is believing.Types of physical abuse named by more than 10% of participants in one study included: The research usually has been done with mostly white, middle-class lesbians who are sufficiently open about their sexual orientation to have met researchers seeking participants in the lesbian community. Subsequently, these findings may not apply to women who are less open, less educated, or of other ethnic backgrounds. Lesbians who abuse another women may do so for reasons similar to those that motivate heterosexual male batterers. Domestic violence in lesbian relationships: Findings of the lesbian relationships research project.

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